Rather important post:

So its the eve of my 23rd birthday.

This will be a short post.

On the eve of my 20th: "flip. 10yrs ago I was 10. In 10 yrs time I'll be 30".

On the eve of my 21st: "yay, mum and jaxon are here"

22: not much.

Tonight: "The next time the second didgit of my age matches the 1st will be when I'm 33: The age Jesus was when he died".

Random bit of wisdom after my last shower as a 22yr old: Make sure you don't leave your wet red hair on white tiles. It will leave pink lines everywhere. Unless you own the tiles- then take a photo of it and sell the prints on trademe.

Here's a pic of me in case you forgot what I looked like.

kitten's, headache's and fancy pills.

Last night I cried. It was a pathetic attempt- I couldn't let it take me to far down the rabbit hole because if I did- I'd heave.

Drama much? Dang. This week has knocked me down. I have always said I'd turn into a man when I get sick. All 'man flu like', but that was said in the confidence of having never actually been seriously sick in my life. Wait I remember having the sniffles back in my 1st yr at college when the floods took the power and my morale.

But mum, breathing tufts of love down the phone said she never rememberes me being this sick before. Temps of 38 and vertigo themed headache's had never ever been on my radar.

I remember one night this week, I thought my feet were dragged backwards and flinging me in circles like I was the saturday night lottery board.

But I really am blessed to be living with a Dr and a Nurse. We'll call this family the 'Incredibles'.
They last night welcomed me to the world of little blue and white pills. Antibiotics- you little pearls. And a beautiful prayer. There is something stunning about someone praying for you when you don't have the strength to do it yourself.

I can now see without having to squint one eye and tilt my head, I can smell.....(my sheets are in the wash because of this) and I can almost breathe deeply without feeling like I'm sucking life through a straw.

And I'm debt free. I wrote a list of goals and the one at the top of this yr- to be debt free by my birthday. I'm 8 days early.
2nd goal on the list- hasn't happened. But during one 3am wake-up call by God I was thinking that the only way to get me to start taking this goal seriously was if I got stopped in my tracks. If something dramatic happened.

And it seems like a week of debilitating headache's, special moments of kittens sleeping on me, episodes of nausea, interspersed with chapters of the disney favourite "Emperors new groove" might just be the drama I was needing.
Ugh what an awful thing to wish upon myself.

But I guess im looking for the Birds-eye view in a balloon full of helium.

(which incidently- you need to check this woman out- her byline on her blog is "I'd like to see into your dreams my little girl"- while her baby's sleeping, she sets a scene up and takes the picture. http://milasdaydreams.blogspot.com/ )

This is a snippet from my exhabition.

Stop and Stare.

...............by One Republic.
You sound best when a mass of primary schoolers belt you out (of tune).

But this is not about you.

I got this book.
with real pages. Not the Ctrl T type page. Pages that smelt and rustled.
I turned my lights down....bad for the eyes, great for the soul. And then I read.

Till I got distracted and stopped and stared.

Till I got distracted from that and digressed to taking photo's.

Exhabition

This is the closest I have ever been to being a commercial artist. I don't mind the final product. But at 30% commission, this exhabition sucked the creativity out of me. I may have sold out- I hope its not tooo 'cafe art'. I'm a "real" artist haha. But anyway, I got there in the end, but dang. The process was not pleasant.

Anyway- this is the works for the exhabition.
I'll but pics up of the sahweet frames I made...which are in array at home. 4 coats of paint and I'm in a heady sense of reality.

Latoya Williams

I'm going to pretend I've been photographying for yeeeeeers and have loads of experience doing model portfolio's and give the highest compliment: We in the 'budniz' say..."what a natrual". 

flippin heck, im not kidding- nothing was forced. she just ooozed starishness. 

Dang- normally a photographer has to jump into the shot to demonstrate 'the vision', but as soon as the lights were ready- she went off. 

Man it was fun. 

PS she talkes awesome. I was cracking up. 

 

 

And my absolute fav series of images...:

 

Postcards

Dear Diary.....it's been a while.


Sound familiar?
Dang. I have been avoiding writing my thoughts.
Im a bit lost. Im in a tangled web of my own doing. I've never been here before. I might like it- it might choke me. But the truth of it is I feel numb. I have avoided being by myself, or being too deep.

Click on the link below to hear my favourite singer/songwriter do a better job of explaining how I feel. (you'll need to click on the Postcards track too...)



Postcards

Lyrics:

"At seventeen she ran away to the city
Thought she would find herself there
Scared and afraid, she pan-handled all day
To get enough for a one-way fare
And a taxi to the nearest greyhound bus
Made a call, mom said please come home to us

I'm searching, I'm traveling
My life's been unraveling
I still don't know where this will lead
Enjoying the weather
I'll get it together so don't worry
I'll send you a postcard
From my journey to me

Crawled through the desert
And swam in the ocean
Tried meditation
And a few magic potions
Marched at the Whitehouse
Agianst the attacks
Sent a call out to Buddah
But he never called back
And I'm thinking there must be something
I have missed
What do you think of all this

I'm searching, I'm traveling
My life's been unraveling
I still don't know where this will lead
Enjoying the weather
I'll get it together so don't worry
I'll send you a postcard
From my journey to me

If you can't find all the answers from anyone else
You'll just have to see for yourself
Under a blanket and up on a mountain
A sleeping bag prayer
Where she drank from the fountain
Thought about Sunday school
Thought about Jesus
Love that's so simple, grace that's so genius
And just like those ruby red slippers you know
The answers were there in her soul

I'm searching, I'm traveling
But I'm not unraveling
I still don't know where this will lead
Enjoying the weather, it feels like forever
Since I've seen Tennessee
This is the last of my postcards
I'll be back home by the next star
I love you all with all my heart
Sincerely, Me"