Friday, September 25, 2009

Break down/Break through

Ok I'm not sure if its the reality of the situation, or if my judgement is completely impaired because I am obviously the one thinking it. But things - things meaning- people, stress levels, emotions, philosophies etc.............are crazy at the moment.

I feel like I am standing on what I used to think was concrete, only to find its melting ice and I'm slipping over, I look up to find help- only to find everyone else falling too.

I might also add- to make myself feel a bit better, that this is relative to my environment- which is as a graduating student at Avondale.

My little happy-go-lucky bubble is dissolving, I used to fluff around and not even think that things like permanence and consequences and cause and effect and cynicism and sarcasm existed let alone take over my world.

I'm learning things like how by 2020 depression will be the number one mental illness in teens and that no matter what we do- kids will still die and the world is in recession and tsunamis, hurricanes and yes I'll say it...dust storms hit home.

The world as an environment used to be non-negotiable- it existed, don't litter, but its there. But that's all changing- the world is scared of its own power to destruct.

This world is crying out. Leaders, teachers, governments and even pastors are headless chickens flapping around. Its no wonder we are moving away from the pick and mix post-modern philosophy. This world is crying out for the concrete again. Something infallible, something we can blindly trust.

Even though I am a Christian, a passionate one, I am scared. I am scared because the gap between the leaders and the people is closing in. I've been in enough board/bored meetings now to realise that even the highest of all infallible authorities are scared, uncertain sinners.

I don't like all this new found knowledge. I don't like how now I am being called to be a teacher to students in this new world that's changing before my eyes. But then on the other hand. I am ready.

Why am I worried and scared? The world is going to end- this world. I know that, I grew up with Sabbath schools themed to it. I have known all my life that even the rocks will cry out. That by the time Jesus comes, we will be crying out to be swept away from this pain.

Won't that be amazing, I can see my philosophy changing before my eyes. Wow. no more pain. Again with the cliche's I learnt in my memory gems. but seriously. In my sphere (my bubble of being) there is so much stress, awareness of pain and rejection. This world is an absolute mess. I can see why we are moving away from post-modern, it has all been preparation for Jesus to come back.
Now we are moving away from self-reliance to the terrifying truth that we are not in control of our own universe- physically, symbolically or emotionally.

No more pain. No more sadness. No more tension. I go to the city and no-one talks. No more strangers.

Its happening. Its now.

This awareness is a good thing. This is a huge ramble- mostly for my benefit. I got overwhelmed like none other, but wow. Typing this has revelled- well God has revelled through my rant- he is hearing us. He is about to swoop in and pick us up.

He's there. He's crying out to us.

I'm ready.

I feel sick, yet excited.

Its like the world in its self-absorbed state wasn't ready for God to return and save us. And he knew it.

It is only now when we realise the world we once 'controlled' is controlling us, do we cry out in blindness. Grappling around in the dark, tripping over objects on fallen on the ground only to find they are our leaders and who we blindly trusted.

We need God now. And he knows it.

He is calling us with the knowledge. I'm calling 'us' the ones with the full pathfinder sash and the history of sitting still on trains.

I know it is mid-night and I'm in a moment of spirit-led; thirst quenching revelry, but we need to shout. We need to be the rock for those who don't have this gift.

Why do we have this knowledge? No Christian is exempt. We are all guilty of hiding it under a bushel. With the gift of knowledge comes the burden of sharing.

But no, its not a burden, when its God inspired and not self driven, he will inspire, equip and deliver us. It when we do things in our name our christan t'duty' to share the truth become a chore.

Far out this terror is transformational. Its calling me to action.

Anyway what the crux of it is. Let's be the rocks in our own post 'post modern' worlds, let's tell the world the truth.

Actually, let's show the world.

My sister Jodes.

This is my adopted piece of love. She is amazing. Totally my sister in every way. I was visiting her in Melbourne and we were shopping up a storm. And we went down an amazing alley way. It was taken on her camera. I love Melbourne. I love alleyway's, I love my sister Jody.