So scuse me while I share something deep.
Maybe I'm niave, young or dense or whatever- but it has just hit me.
Love is a sacrifice.
That saying "treat others how you love to be treated", may work for you to recieve love, but to give love- you have to speak their langauage. And unless your the same emotional nationality- your a foreigner and have to dig out the phrase book to give the love that person will recieve.
And it's not easy. Thats why its a sacrifice.
And that, kids- is perhaps my last deep insight for 2010.
Gary Chapman is a champ. He has interpreted for me many times and has not even met me.
He's the author of the 5 love languages.
Here's a run down of the 5 love languages that describe how we recieve love. The trick after that is learning how to sacrifice our love language to speak love to someone else.
"The 5 Love Languages®
Words of AffirmationActions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and arae not easily forgotten.
Quality TimeIn the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.
Receiving GiftsDon’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.
Acts of ServiceCan vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.
Physical TouchThis language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive".
Anyway, anyway, Anyway.
My Dad's language of love is service.
He takes it as a personal insult if I forget to bring in the washing (never mind the fact that I just told him he suited grey hair).
And this is the result:
He sourced 3 VW's and combined their forces.
He's a champ.