Tuesday, November 2, 2010

The war???? Bring it.

So last night I tried to write this post. Didn't work. CTRL Z was my frenemy.

I have declared war on smludge. Dankness. politics. PMSness.
And dang its fighting back.

You see...I have a thousand projects that need my inspiration.
Dad has sourced 2 VW's. Fo' Real.
Pictures soon- I'm supposed to be rushing off to work.
Anyway, Also the Sketchbook project.com needs my attention.
And this potential 'thing' for mums birthday (she may read this...so cannot be revealed here).

However this war is crippling.
And I think it goes beyond the present.

I think its that war called Spiritual.
Which is funny I am acknowledging this, and being aware of it- because this freedom and independence has gotten too attractive this year. If I want to go to the shops- I can leave when I want. If I want to ge that chocolate fore breakfast- I did. If I don't want to acknowledge God- I didn't. (I know- I was TOTALLY ruining Syntax there- deliberatly).

Anyway, the point is, I have retreated from God. Neither for nor against. Neither Love nor hate- the worst kind of Christian- apathetic.
Oh boy- no wonder I have struggled to feel passionate.

But my heart is telling me it wants to return.
And what has tugged at my strings? Christian music and peoples stories. There really is something incredible in someone's face shining when they share a truth or experience they had with God.
If they have this passion- perhaps I could to?

So there I have said it.
I want more.
I want to feel.
I want to be all shiny like.

So I have started telling God about my details again.

My problems,
My fears.

The present and the future.

My excitements,
My goals.

The present and the future.

So thats me.
Sorry there's no pictures. My computer is faaaar to slow to respond to random inspiration.